I feel like I already spend a lot of time telling you what I want, sweet boys. I frequently want you to be just a little bit quieter. I want you to stop throwing things. I want you to listen to me the first time. I want you to sleep through the night. I want you to please, just pee on the potty. But of course, you already know all of that. And that's really not important anyway. Here is what I really want for you:
First, I want you to be boys. Play in the mud. Dig up worms. Play with sticks. Of course, your sister can do all of these things, too--getting dirty isn't just for boys. But it is part of being a boy. So go ahead. Be a boy. Get dirty. But wipe your feet. When necessary, take off your shoes. Leave the worms outside. And wash your hands. I will thank you, and your future respective wives will thank me.
I realize that someday, playing in the mud will likely turn into four wheeling in the mud. Playing with toy race cars may turn into racing real cars. And playing with sticks may someday turn into hunting something with shotguns. I know you think you're invincible. But here's the thing I want you to remember: you are not invincible. Really, you're not. You can get maimed, killed, or incarcerated just like anybody else. Have fun. But don't be stupid. If necessary, I will take away your car (assuming you save enough to buy yourself one while you are still living at home), your phone, and your freedom in order to keep you safe. I will not bail you out of jail for doing something dumb. But I will still love you. Always. And it is my profound preference not to sit by your bedside while you are hooked up to machines in a hospital. Or worse. I will do what ever it takes to prevent these things from happening, even if that makes you not like me for a while. So I want you to remember two things that will likely make your childhoods easier on both of us: stop and think.
Of course, if you do mess up, which we all do at some point, it's not the end of the world. Life goes on. We learn from our mistakes, and there is absolutely nothing you can't come to me with. Ever.
That reminds me-- the whole boys will be boys thing? It works for you now, because boys can be boys while they are actually boys. But once you are no longer a boy, it's, excuse me, bullshit. Be a boy while you are a boy. But when you are a man, be a man.
This doesn't mean you can't have fun. It means you need to also act responsibly. Find a job you enjoy, because you will likely be doing it for a long time. But even if you don't enjoy it, be grateful that you have a job, and do it well. In fact, be grateful for everything you have, even if you don't have everything you want.
Remember to be respectful. Be kind. Think of others. Be a gentleman.
Realize that women can do pretty much anything you can do, and treat them accordingly. But they might need your help lifting that heavy dresser. And it's OK to open doors for them. And pull out their chairs. And pay for dinner. Just be wary of the ones who always need you to pay for dinner, or who seem to desperately need you. And remember that, while there are a lot of cute girls out there, you probably want something besides just cute. The reality is, in thirty years, she will likely have gained thirty pounds and that tattoo you think is so sexy at twenty-two is not going to be anywhere near where it was when it started out, so it's probably a good idea to end up with someone you can actually hold a conversation with.
And yes, I want you to remember it's OK to hold a conversation. Talking is good. You can even talk about your feelings. Or at least listen to hers. And don't just nod and pretend you're listening. We are so onto that.
I want you to always laugh as much as you do now. Just not at others. Or when the teacher is talking. Or when your mommy is trying to tell you something important.
I want for you to remember that your family is here for you. Rely on each other, your sister, your dad and me. Your sister will likely be in a position to get you out of some kind of trouble at some point, so be nice to her. You may want to stop throwing things at her now, so that she has some more positive memories of your childhood interactions.
Remember, always, how much you matter. How much family and friendships matters. How much love, and kindness, and Faith matter. Realize how little pretty much everything else matters in comparison.
Most importantly, I want you to remember this:
Your mommy was the first woman who looked into your eyes and fell in love.
Call her.
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