What an amazing life....
cross posted from Familymattersmom
Perfection comes up a lot with some of my
clients. The need to be perfect. The need to appear perfect. The need to let go
of the idea that they have to be perfect. And, with increasing frequency, the
need to cancel their Facebook accounts so they can stop being exposed to all
those other people whose lives appear to be perfect.
Marie loved her husband of five years so incredibly much. She was unbelievably lucky to have found such a man. And her children were absolutely amazing. She was loving every minute of being their mommy. She was so blessed to have this family, and to have moved into their dream home the year before.
Wow. Marie really has it all, doesn't she?
I mean, everyone thinks so. All they have to do is read her facebook updates, or private messages to old friends, or her blog, where she writes in depth about this incredible, amazing blessing called motherhood, to know that she has such an incredible life.
If reading about it is not enough to convince them of Marie's absolutely incredible, amazing life, they just have to look at the pictures of her perfectly dressed children, and her immaculate dream home, and the amazing anniversary trip she and her husband took to the Caribbean last year.
And hopefully, as Marie's old friends see the evidence of her perfect life for themselves, they manage to resist the urge to vomit all over their keyboards.
The reality is, Marie may or may not actually be feeling that her life is quite as wonderful as she portrays on facebook--or wherever--but one thing is for sure.
Marie is absolutely, unbelievably, incredibly nauseating.
Don't get me wrong. Life is amazing. In fact, we would probably all be better off if we took a few minutes every morning to be grateful...for our families, our friends, our health, our homes.
We should be grateful for all of these things. But not because they are perfect. We should be grateful for them in spite of the fact that they're not.
Our families may be exhausting, our friends might sometimes be too busy, our health may not be perfect, and our homes may be smaller and messier than we'd like.
But still, for most of us, there is much to be grateful for.
The problem is, when we are bombarded with other peoples' alleged perfection, we start to think that's what we should be striving for, too. Or, if we are someone who already tends to think in "perfect" terms, people like Marie just add fuel to our less than perfect fires. Now there's someone who has it all. That's what my life should look like now. She manages to keep it all together. Why can't I?
Of course, striving for perfection in any form is only going to increase our own unhappiness, since that is one thing we are guaranteed never to achieve.
The Marie's in this world are just showing us what they want us to see. Maybe it happens to be a pretty accurate portrayal of their life. But maybe it's not. Maybe they're trying really hard to impress others, or maybe they're only trying to impress--or convince--themselves. It's also possible that Marie just likes to wear rose colored glasses. (In which case, she better hope those glasses never break. She could be in for a rude awakening).
One thing is certain. For every piece of information that we have--or think we have- about someone else's life, there are many more things that we don't know.
So the next time you're bombarded with someone else's incredible, amazing, unbelievable life, remember that there may be a good reason it's so unbelievable.
And if your life is feeling less than perfect in comparison, don't focus on how you can make yours more perfect.
Focus on living--and loving--the less than perfect life that you have.
Marie loved her husband of five years so incredibly much. She was unbelievably lucky to have found such a man. And her children were absolutely amazing. She was loving every minute of being their mommy. She was so blessed to have this family, and to have moved into their dream home the year before.
Wow. Marie really has it all, doesn't she?
I mean, everyone thinks so. All they have to do is read her facebook updates, or private messages to old friends, or her blog, where she writes in depth about this incredible, amazing blessing called motherhood, to know that she has such an incredible life.
If reading about it is not enough to convince them of Marie's absolutely incredible, amazing life, they just have to look at the pictures of her perfectly dressed children, and her immaculate dream home, and the amazing anniversary trip she and her husband took to the Caribbean last year.
And hopefully, as Marie's old friends see the evidence of her perfect life for themselves, they manage to resist the urge to vomit all over their keyboards.
The reality is, Marie may or may not actually be feeling that her life is quite as wonderful as she portrays on facebook--or wherever--but one thing is for sure.
Marie is absolutely, unbelievably, incredibly nauseating.
Don't get me wrong. Life is amazing. In fact, we would probably all be better off if we took a few minutes every morning to be grateful...for our families, our friends, our health, our homes.
We should be grateful for all of these things. But not because they are perfect. We should be grateful for them in spite of the fact that they're not.
Our families may be exhausting, our friends might sometimes be too busy, our health may not be perfect, and our homes may be smaller and messier than we'd like.
But still, for most of us, there is much to be grateful for.
The problem is, when we are bombarded with other peoples' alleged perfection, we start to think that's what we should be striving for, too. Or, if we are someone who already tends to think in "perfect" terms, people like Marie just add fuel to our less than perfect fires. Now there's someone who has it all. That's what my life should look like now. She manages to keep it all together. Why can't I?
Of course, striving for perfection in any form is only going to increase our own unhappiness, since that is one thing we are guaranteed never to achieve.
The Marie's in this world are just showing us what they want us to see. Maybe it happens to be a pretty accurate portrayal of their life. But maybe it's not. Maybe they're trying really hard to impress others, or maybe they're only trying to impress--or convince--themselves. It's also possible that Marie just likes to wear rose colored glasses. (In which case, she better hope those glasses never break. She could be in for a rude awakening).
One thing is certain. For every piece of information that we have--or think we have- about someone else's life, there are many more things that we don't know.
So the next time you're bombarded with someone else's incredible, amazing, unbelievable life, remember that there may be a good reason it's so unbelievable.
And if your life is feeling less than perfect in comparison, don't focus on how you can make yours more perfect.
Focus on living--and loving--the less than perfect life that you have.
Love,love, love this. Wish more people were able to recognize it.
ReplyDeleteThanks :) I figured you and I would be on the same page about this!
ReplyDelete