Explain Yourself

It seems like someone's always explaining something in our house.
I used to think I was the only one explaining, since I seem to get most of the questions. Of course, it's important to answer kids' questions as honestly as possible so they'll know it's OK to keep asking questions. So, that's what I did. With N. Once B started asking questions, around the time I was pregnant with O, I just couldn't always think of the answers as quickly. So, mostly, I just made them up. I realize this may result in him asking fewer questions. I am OK with that.

Sometimes, though, I couldn't even think of a made-up answer that quickly, and I would have to resort to making some sound that hopefully passed for an answer in a toddler's mind. You see, I had lost a lot more brain cells by that point, due to the fact that babies eat your brain cells in pregnancy. It's true. I'm walking, grunting proof. And unfortunately, they don't come back. Soon O will start asking questions. Sorry, O, this is one of the hazards of being the third child. Your mother is too brain dead to answer your questions. So is your father, though I don't know what his excuse is--it's not like you ate his brain cells. Just remember that, if you ask a question and you don't hear us answer, the answer is either: "Because I said so", or "Because I'm the mommy".  If it can't be answered by one of those two phrases, it probably wasn't worth asking in the first place.

Fortunately for O, he has two older siblings who love him and who are really good at explaining things. For example, B recently explained that he wasn't the one who took a pack of cookies out of the cabinet at six-thirty in the morning and brought them into their shared bedroom. Apparently, it was O. B explained in great detail that O, at twenty months, climbed out of his crib, came downstairs, pulled a stool over to get the cookies, gave them to B, then went back upstairs and climbed back into his crib. What an amazing brother.

B also recently explained that he wasn't the one who poured hand lotion all over the kitchen counters. It was Daddy. Same for the dish washing liquid. You know Daddy. He just does stuff like that.

Even when B gets caught in the act, he has an explanation. When I caught him sneaking downstairs one night and opening the refrigerator (I feed them. I swear), he looked at me innocently and said, "I was just looking to make sure we had food, mom". The next day he informed me that the crayon marks on the wall were there because "I was just trying to make the house look prettier".Wow--what an incredibly thoughtful boy.

N is also good at explaining things. When I recently noticed that the channel on the TV had been changed from the cartoons I'd put on, she explained that she had accidentally sat on the remote and it changed the channel. To one of her favorite shows! And let's not forget the Leprechaun who always messes up her room. Also, I sometimes notice that N is wearing what appears to be eye shadow, though it's actually oil pastel from her art set. Apparently B sneaks into her room early in the morning and applies it...perfectly, and without her knowledge.  Truly an amazing three-year-old. (This should not be confused with the times that he really has snuck into her room and drawn on her. Those times, he used pink marker and it was not confined to her eyelids...or to her face).

Sometimes their explanations don't quite make sense, like when I asked B why he was hiding, and he said , "So N can't smell me". At these times, I've found that it's just better not to ask for further explanation.

Occasionally, they decide they don't even like their own explanations all that much. Today after nap time, I noticed a perfect number 3 written in crayon on the wall next to B's bed. When I asked him how it got there, he said O did it. When I said that O couldn't reach that spot from his crib, he said N did it. Then he looked at that perfect number 3 for a minute, and realized that N was going to get all the credit for it. "I drew a really good three, didn't I, mom?"

At least N and B are sharing their talents with O. Thanks to them, he's already gotten good at explaining. His favorite phrases include the following:
"B did it."
"N did it."
"Daddy did it".

On a rare occasion, you might hear him say this one:
"Mommy did it".

But wait, I can explain...