The Rules for Summer

Dear Family,

Very soon, we will all be spending a lot more time together, and while I cherish this time with you, I also think we should set some ground rules so that we all keep our sanity.

Or so that at least I keep mine.

Showers. Since some days, this is my only time to myself, it is important that it really is time to myself.  This morning, for example, I was interrupted seven times in ten minutes by someone needing me. Or, more precisely, thinking that they needed me. Let's talk about need. If any of the following are happening, you have a NEED:

Blood (copious amounts)

Choking (involving airway obstruction)

Unconsciousness

I think that about covers it.

Changing the channel on the TV? Not a need.

Telling your brother/sister/father/dog to be nicer to you? Not a need.

Finding your socks? Not a need.

Getting you a drink? Nope.

Buttoning your pants? Uh, no.

Deciding that this moment is the perfect time to tell me about something that someone said to you at school three weeks ago--something that, come to think of it, you can't really remember all that well anyway, is not a need.

Asking me where the butter is, in case you were wondering, is also not a need. Especially when you are the only other grown up in the house. And because there is only one place the butter could be. Unless, of course, you ask me again where the butter is when I'm in the shower.

Then there will be another place that the butter could be.

Naps. If I say take one, then you take one. I may tell you it's because you look tired, or because I want you to have lots of energy to do something fun the next day. In truth, if I tell you to take a nap, it's because I am about to loose my mind and I need you to take a nap. I don't care if you're not tired, haven't taken naps in five years, or just woke up. Just.take.a.nap. Or pretend. That's fine with me, too. Just keep in mind that truly pretending means that your eyes remain closed at all times and you do not speak. Or move.

Conflict. If I have to spend my entire summer breaking up fights, working out compromises, and telling you to be kind to one another, I will have no energy left to take you to the pool, the playground, or for ice cream. Just work.it.out. Or ignore each other for the next ten weeks. That works for me, too.

Sleep. For the past nine months I have gotten up early almost every morning to get you to school, church, or religious ed classes. For the next ten weeks, I would prefer not to have to get up early every morning. But some of you seem to be under the false impression that when you get up, I must get up. This is, in fact, not the case. When you get up, you are free to turn on the television (keeping the volume low) or help yourselves to something to eat. I know that you are capable of doing this since I have, on more than one occasion, found an empty box of granola bars, which had been previously kept on the highest shelf in the cabinet. Alternately, if you would like to come snuggle in my bed, that is fine. However, snuggle does not mean talk, cry, yell, tattle, sing, play with toys, or steal my blankets. It means snuggle. Please note that snuggling, in our house, is a silent, motionless activity.

Me Time. I would do anything for any of you at any time. In theory. In reality, we will be spending almost every waking moment together for the next ten weeks, which means that in order for me to continue to function as a mostly kind, mostly sane mommy, I will occasionally have times when the shower wasn't enough and I need a few minutes of down time. You may see me go into my room. Or maybe get on the computer. Or maybe go outside. DO NOT FOLLOW ME. I will be back, I promise. But please do not choose this moment to ask me for a drink, a snack, a new shirt, or to read to you. Mostly nice, mostly sane mommy will be mostly happy to do those things for you in a few minutes, but if you follow me and hound me until I do them for you RIGHT NOW, mostly unkind, mostly insane mommy will be throwing your juice, granola bar, t-shirt, and book at you from across the room. And  really, you just don't want that.

Noise Levels: There are three of you. There's only one of me. I know you get loud when you're excited or happy, and even louder when you're unhappy.  Like when someone takes a toy away. Or looks at you funny. Or when they get the last cupcake  carrot stick. But the thing is, the louder you get, the more over stimulated I get. And when I get over stimulated, mostly nice, mostly sane mommy leaves, and mostly unkind, mostly insane mommy comes out. So, please, since you know I'm going to tell you to do it anyway, just lower your voices. Or, better yet, take them outside.  It's summer. Go outside and enjoy yourself. I know it's 100 degrees/thundering/mosquito infested out there, but trust me, come September, you'll miss these days.

Questions: You each get to ask me five questions a day. Questions are non transferable and cannot be saved up to be cashed in later. Choose wisely.

Bedtime. Nine pm. I don't care that it's summer. That IS a later bedtime. Take it or leave it. But if you leave it, you'll be in bed at eight instead.

Good night sweet cherubs.

And when you say your prayers tonight, please don't forget to pray for me.

God knows I'll need it.

Love,

Your Mother

P.S. Happy Summer!!!