Desperate Soccer Moms Unite

Like a lot of moms, I primarily stay home with my kids.

And by "stay home with them", I mean that I spend the vast majority of my days in the car, running them to and from school, dance class, play dates, the dentist, or the doctor's office to remove sausage and/or a Barbie shoes from someones nose.

The rest of the time, I can usually be found at the grocery store.

Or my therapist's office.

Spending your days this way used to classify someone as a stay-at-home mom, though you may have noticed that "stay-at-home" was no where on that list. Apparently, though, in some circles, moms like me are now classified as "desperate soccer moms".

Even though you may have also noticed that soccer was no where on my list. And, I'm pretty sure working moms can be considered desperate soccer moms, too.

I initially thought that maybe I should be offended to be considered a desperate soccer mom. But the thing is, I have three kids.

Of course I'm desperate.

I'm desperate for a clean house, though I don't really expect that I'll have one for the next fifteen years or so. I'm desperately in love with my children, in spite of the fact that they won't allow me to have the clean house I'm so desperate for, and at some point during almost every day, I'm desperate for a large vodka latte. I have yet to find one.

I'm frequently desperate for a little peace and quiet. I'm desperate for someone in my house--anyone--to start putting their own shoes away. And I'm desperate for a full nights sleep. In my own bed. Without two, or four, or six small feet kicking me in the back. Or the head. Or the back of my head.

 I'm also desperately clinging to my sanity. That is, when I'm not already desperately searching for it.

So yeah, it's true. I'm desperate.

But like most things in life, it's all what you make of it. So I think it's only right that, like so many other people do these days, I profit from my desperation.

I'm thinking it's time for a new reality show.

Desperate Soccer Moms. 

Or maybe The Real Soccer Moms.

Or, my personal favorite, Really Desperate Soccer Moms.

The best part is, your kids don't even have to play soccer for you to be a part of it.

You just have to be desperate.

Or, in other words, a mom.