Dear Hot Mess Housekeeper,
My husband's aunt is coming to town for our daughter's graduation, and I am totally stressed out trying to clean the house to her standards. Any tips? Please help!
Signed,
Dusty
Dear Dusty,
We have all been there. But you really only need three things to get your house ready for company.
1) a closet
2) a vacuum
3) a large bottle of scotch.
Follow these instructions:
1) Open closet.
2) Throw whatever crap is laying around into it.
3) Vacuum areas that Auntie is likely to see.
4) When Auntie arrives, hand her a large glass of Scotch, smile, and tell her to stay the hell away from your closets. Repeat.
Of course, with housekeeping as with all things, it's important to be flexible, so if these instructions don't work for you, I do have an alternate suggestion:
1) Open Closet
2) Open Scotch
3) Do not come out of closet until bottle is empty.
Most importantly, enjoy your daughter's graduation.
I hope this serves as confirmation that that is truly what matters.
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