Irish (Dancers) Need Not Apply...

N started taking Irish dance a few weeks ago. This means that I no longer get to be embarrassed each week by B and O's antics at the ballet studio.

Now I get to be embarrassed each week by their antics at the Irish dance studio instead.

The Irish Dance classes are held at a large community center. When we walked in the first week, I noticed what a beautiful studio the class was in. I noticed how kind and knowledgeable N's teacher was. I noticed that there were several other types of dance classes going on at the same time.

And then I noticed that there were approximately 597 parents and siblings waiting in the hallway, which only had 27 chairs.

If it was just me, that wouldn't be so bad. Admittedly, I don't like crowds. But I would know to bring a vodka  pumpkin spice latte and a book and park myself in a corner somewhere. But it's not just me. I have B and O with me. They'll never let me drink my vodka  coffee in peace. Nor are they going to sit quietly in a corner for forty-five minutes if there's no duct tape involved.

So we wandered around to look at the Rec center's facilities. We found an indoor track. We walked it. For almost the whole time.

This, I thought, is a perfect way to spend the forty-five minutes while N's in class.

So yesterday, we again dropped N off at class, and headed upstairs to walk the track.

We completed all of two laps before an employee yelled at me as she pointed to B and O.

"Are they in Irish dance?"

Well, they obviously aren't in Irish dance because they are, in fact, here, on the track, with me. And besides, look at them. Do you think anyone has a chance of getting them to do an actual dance step, unless maybe it's "One, two, three, kick your brother in the knee"?

I decided these thoughts were better off in my head, and told her we were waiting for my daughter who was, in fact, in the Irish dance class.

"You need to wait in the hallway downstairs".

Huh?

I think I may have said that part out loud.

"Irish dance people aren't allowed up here. You need to wait in the hallway downstairs."

Yeah, that hallway. The one with 597 parents and 27 chairs.

I wondered why it was only the Irish dance people who couldn't use the track. Apparently, the ballet, tap, and jazz people were more than welcome to use it. Not that they were, since there were all of two other people on the track.

I thought of telling her this was clearly discrimination.

I thought of telling her a few other things too. But I didn't.

Instead, I grabbed B and O and told them we weren't allowed to walk on the track anymore.

"But why?" B wanted to know.

"Because we're with the Irish Dancers honey, and the Irish dance people aren't allowed to walk on the track with all the other people". 

Even though there were hardly any other people.

Then I smiled my sweetest, fakest smile at the employee, who was obviously not leaving until we had gotten off her track.

Apparently, the Irish dance people aren't allowed on the track because the Irish dance teacher only rents space from the Rec Center.

She did inform me that we were welcome to walk the track for twenty-one dollars each time we were there.

I told her I thought we'd just wait outside.

But next week, if you're looking for me, I'll be in the hallway downstairs. In a corner. With a pumpkin spice vodka latte.

I think I'll bring duct tape.

But then again, maybe I won't.