Must have ability to multi-task in order to fulfill following roles:
cook, housekeeper, nurse, child care provider, dishwasher, teacher, accountant, chauffeur, personal shopper, counselor, and referee.
Experience desired, but not required, in following areas:
Diaper changing, laundry, potty training, lie detection, laundry, identification of unknown objects and/or substances, laundry, ignoring frequent stares and/or comments from strangers, laundry.
Preference will be given to candidates who have demonstrated ESP and/or the ability to locate lost shoes, jackets, dinosaurs, or teddy bears without a GPS.
The ability to serve the same food item in different forms three nights in a row while never using the word "leftovers" is a plus.
The successful candidate will not mind getting dirty--even if you just changed into clean clothing and "getting dirty" involves being up to your elbows in poop.
The successful candidate will also not mind getting repeatedly yelled at, or being repeatedly ignored, depending on the day.
Most importantly, the ideal candidate will possess the ability to complete all of the above tasks on an average of four hours sleep.
Other duties as assigned.
Pay is non negotiable and is generally in the form of chocolate covered kisses (no, not the candy version), I wuv yous, and hand made cards.
Time off is limited but wine is served nightly after eight pm.
This is a temporary position, as the person currently in this position is hoping to take a brief sabbatical at a) the nearest establishment that serves liquor or b) the corner liquor store.
If interested, please inquire immediately.
As a bonus, help with housekeeping may be provided:
I love this!Temporary position! Hahaha...the qualifying candidate may need a sabbatical when you come back!! Heehee... And ending with the pic of B and Bella is classic!
ReplyDeleteHey! I just realized this is PERFECT timing, as one of my dearest friends is coming to visit soon. Wow--why didn't I think of that sooner?!
ReplyDelete