Awakenings

I love seeing my kids first thing in the morning. I particularly love getting up and walking quietly into their rooms to watch them while they're still sleeping, before I sneak downstairs for a cup of coffee in silence.


Of course, I haven't actually had a morning like that since 2007. But I would love it.

Instead, most days begin like yesterday did. I wake to realize that morning has come a little sooner than I would have liked, and that there is a small elbow/foot/head pressing into my back. Eventually, it becomes clear that N, this morning's owner of said elbow/foot/head is not going to give me any space in my own bed, so I settle for a few more minutes of something vaguely resembling sleep, as I cling to the side of the bed. I am awakened again a few minutes later.

By a finger in my eye.

"Hey mom. You awake?" B asks me in what I think is supposed to pass for a whisper.

I consider pretending that I'm not awake, but I'm afraid of getting a finger in my other eye. So, instead, I cautiously open the eye that I'm currently able to open.

"Mom! You're awake!" He is happily surprised. I wonder if he would just keep sleeping if someone put their finger in his eye. I make a mental note to try it and find out.



We talk for a minute. About not poking people in the eyes. About whispering in the morning. About staying in your own room and playing quietly until mommy wakes up. He listens. He actually gets quiet. And then he picks up a toy drum, and starts playing it. When I ask him to stop, he does. And then he throws it across the room.

Then we talk some more. About what we are doing this summer, and how in the Fall, it will be time for military pre school.

Somehow, I drift off again, and it gets quiet. I realize the quiet could be a very bad sign, but at the moment I don't care. And then I realize something.

I am being fondled.

B is rubbing my head. And my arms. Then my stomach. And my legs.

I open my eyes--both of them this time, and in my nicest why-the-hell-won't-anyone-in-my-life-just-leave-me-alone-and-let-me-actually-sleep-for-a-change voice, I say,

"Please. Stop. Touching. Me."

He looks at me. And smiles.

"I just love you mom. I just love every part of you."

I love you too, sweet boy.

But it's important that you learn to keep your hands to yourself.

Fondling sleeping women will very likely get you kicked out of  military  pre school.